butterfly kisses

it's ironic that you can feel two emotions at the same time when you are having a fight with your other half, you feel so much anger and also love simultaneously.

you most definitely can't stand your other half who's sitting next to you, trying to justify what he did that was perceived as a mistake... but you also most certainly do not harbour any thoughts of separation in bad times of fights and arguments. you always think that this will pass and things will get back on track once it's over, maybe things will be even better because both of us can learn from the mistakes that we made. i think that that's the measure of love's strength - not running away from the downs and trying your best to maintain the ups.

i used to feel that the best way to solve a problem is to run away from it. this was when i used my heart instead of my head to think. but now that i've matured, i find that running away only exacerbates the problem.

on another note, new people that we meet, i believe, can fall in love with my lover here if they didn't know he's married (or maybe some bad seeds out there would not even care of his marital status and pursue the unspeakable nonetheless - balsphemus!) because of his charming demeanor. to me, that's a gift as well as a curse for you-know-what reasons. even i fell for him for this particular reason in the first place!

anyway back to the former, we had our usual big arguments that lasted 3 days - one of the longest we ever had. but in the end, the way he remembers to put minyak gamat on my blistered hand (which i frequently get from the goddamned rusty gate) and the way his face looked while applying the ointment - with so much love - is the thing that makes me sleep soundly at night with a smile. no matter what, the way he pulls me close to his body when we go to sleep and his butterfly kisses on my forehead is what i look forward to each and every night.

... and that is why i love this man so damn much.