wandering thots

found some old pieces of paper on my nightstand last nite. on it are some jottings i made, some personal observations/thots/experiences and some quotes which i picked up.. sharing some with the world here :)

- a smile after every sentence

- making fun jokes about frens and laughing together out loud, esp. among close frens who know inside out abt each other

- having 2-hour lunches with frens on a working day, talking abt everything and nothing

- shopping for cheap goods with close frens

- having sleepovers and have nothing to do, no stress whatsoever

- going on a road trip with close frens

- sit outside the house and wathcing the full moon in silence

for every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness - quote

miracles sometimes occur, but one has to work terribly hard at them - quote

the days are too short for even love; how can there be enough time for quarreling? - quote

that's the best - to laugh with someone because you think the same things are funny - quote

fear less, hope more. whine less, breathe more. talk less, say more. hate less, love more - quote

first keep the peace within yourself, then you can also bring peace to others - quote

when angry, count ten before you speak; if very angry, a hundred - quote

things that matter most should not be at the mercy of things that matter least - quote

when people talk, listen completely. most people never listen - quote

aren't they quite the true?

ps: close frens in this context are: Aje, Jjay, Fara, Merci, Ann - we had some good times growing up, didn't we? hope we grow old together the same way =)

new addition to the family - Miss Gypsie the Squash Face

she's a calico (tri-colour in layman) and she's an exotic shorthair. wanted to name her Egypt at first, cos to me Egypt is so exotic right, but jim said it sounded funny-strange (my hubby here has no creativity in his bones whatsoever, engineer la sangat) so the twist is to put smthg cute at the end of the name, hence Gypsie :)

she's a ball of fur, scared out of her wits right now at being brought into a new home. i'm doing so much reading on cat behavior from the net this morning, trying to understand her initial timidity and hopefully i can also understand panda the manda's behavior along the way.

our Gypsie gurl :)

daddy & Gypsie :)

she's 7 months old but still very small in size. one cat book said that exotic shorthairs mature only at 3 years old. hope she lives longer than that with us!

welcome Gypsie gurl, u'll love your new home sooner that u think! :)

o ya, after the much hoo-haa over adoptin vs buying a cat with jim last week, i had to cave in lah with Gypsie. we got her at RM550 (yikes!) i know i know... so much money for smthg that has no warranty kan. but then jim is also getting me a diamond necklace so it's like a package lah, "kitten comes with diamonds" haha. i got my cake and i'm eating it too! woohoo! daddy better keep his promise, or else (harumph).

i so want to adopt another baby

panda is really annoying after we've lost looney last month. i think he's so lonely that he pesters us to hold him and pet him all the time! he's now resting quietly on my lap while i'm posting this, heaving a huge sigh of relief (like a human), like he's SO happy to see me come back home from work and that there's somebody who can take care of him now. yeessh, so terrible i tell u (but secretly, i actually love the attention he's giving me hehe)

panda (right) & looney in happier times

so anyway, yesterday i had a fight with jim about adopting another cat to give panda some company. i found this cute little black ball of fur at the office (about a month old i think) and i asked him if i could bring the kitty back. he adamantly said NO cos he said that he wants to BUY a pure breed (british shorthair). personally, forking out so much money for a cat is not my idea of being a smart person. a cat, either adopted at rm50 or bought at rm1000, can simply get infected with a terminal disease (like what happened to looney) and die. if the cat cost u rm50, it wouldn't be so bad lah, but if it was rm1000, wouldn't that make your heart skip a beat? it would mine! i mean, i know we don't wish or hope for our pets to get sick and die, but it could happen right?

so whatever, jimmy pujuk me this morning by telling me to surf www.kitten.com.my and check out the offers there.. i went and saw many lovely cats and kittens up for adoption, some at a price, some FOC. i tak kisah if we were to get another kucing pariah like si panda ni (panda's a cross-persian la konon, or in more technical words, he's a domestic semi-long hair (DSLH)). aku ni sedap je ngutuk my own baby on my lap ni hihi like la he understands anyway.

conclusion is: pure breeds to me are high maintenance. i want a siamese with blue eyes. can someone recommend me where to get one? one at m-i-n-i-m-a-l cost.

oh jim's home, we're going out to dinner. esok both of us are on leave to take the iswara to puspakom. maybe we'll catch a show, i want to watch "the departed" lah. heidey said it's good.

panda sitting happily at my feet in the car, coming back from JB lepas raya

checking out the scene from daddy's lap

ho hum

i want to write about smthg smart, but i can't find anything at all to write about! writer's block. blog/block. sounds similar but a lethal combo.

*****

well anyway, have u seen jessica simpson's latest song called "i belong to me"? wow the video is very simple yet very emotionally powerful.. in it u will see that she's very depressed about her breakup/divorce with nick lachey and she expressed herself really well. plus, she's become very beautiful (not the slutty image) in this video. and the song is sedap!

lyrics:

I belong to me...
It's not that I don't wanna share my life with you baby
It's just that I'm the one I need to be true to baby
And I won't give up me to be part of you
It's not that I don't wanna have you in my life baby
It's just you gotta know that it's got to be right baby
Before I open up my heart to you
I don't need somebody to complete me

I complete myself
Nobody's got to belong to somebody else

I belong to me
I don't belong to you
My heart is my possession
I'll be my own reflection

I belong to me
I'm one not half of two
And if you're gonna love me
You should know this baby
I belong to me

I gotta let you know before I let you in, baby
That who I am is not about who I am with, baby
That don't mean I don't wanna be here with you I do
I don't need somebody to complete me
I want you to know
I'll give up my love but I'm not giving up my soul

I belong to me
I don't belong to you
My heart is my possession
I'll be my own reflection

I belong to me
I'm one not half of two
And if you're gonna love me
You should know this baby
I belong to me

Oh yea Love don't mean changing who you are to be
Who somebody wants you to be
Nobody's got to belong to nobody

I belong to me
I don't belong to you
My heart is my possession
I'll be my own reflection

I belong to me
I don't belong to you
My heart is my possession
I'll be my own reflection
I belong to me
I'm one not half of two
And if you gonna love me
You should know this baby
I belong to me

strong words eh? and they make sense (coming from a much-publicised bimbo)! although i kinda disagree with her (i.e. i feel that i do belong to somebody and that i am a half of two - i'm a gemini for crying out loud, give me a break), but the words are meant for weak ppl to stand up on their own 2 feet, for them to be themselves even when they're in a r'ship, yada yada... good work jess!

how? do i look like her? haha

i rock =)

oh ya, my nasi beriyani came out fabulously 2 nites ago, thanks to perencah nasi beriyani maggi and my sweat haha. plus, jamie oliver's chocoloate mousse recipe which i got from his tv show came out like the ones they sell at the hotels! jim better love me more for my super efforts ok :P
kakcik went back home from work yesterday with much zest at wanting to make the same nasi beriyani i made. she called me at 7.45pm crying that hers was mentah HAHA! i calmed her down, told her what i did the nite before that made my nasi perfect for dining, she didn't calm down and continued to freak out. i called her again at 9.15pm and they still haven't eaten dinner. adam fell asleep while waiting for so long, ayen had a mouthful of the rice and said it's "sedap" (babies can't be trusted ;), amin went out and kakcik said she didn't feel hungry anymore and only wanted to eat when amin comes back. hehehee so farneeeee :D

to think that i, miss won't-lift-a-finger-to-do-any-housework-or-cooking, can cook a whole meal without breaking so much sweat and am doing a lot around the house these days, is a mind-boggler.. the wonders of marriage eh?

umi terkejut nak mampuih after hearing that i cooked such a dish.

hey, my nasi beriyani & choc mousse can ajak ppl come to the house and serve one u know! ter-rer!

*happy*

esok hari raya, esok hari rayaaa!

well, it's 10 to 10pm and the nasi beriyani endeavour was cancelled, or rather, postponed. he said he didnt want to have anything too heavy. the rain poured very heavily on his way back, riding his cute lil scooter, and he was drenched when he reached home so i, altho a bit peeved off for having denied the pleasure of cooking once again, took pity on my drenched "cat" and just gave in.

so anyway, back to happier stories of my life - i want to share some photos of our first married raya in ampang (23 - 25 Oct 2006):


main bunga api on raya eve with the kids


another bunga api scene, ayen in the smokey background


our matching baju rayas


nak salam ke tanak ni?


bestnya ada (legal) other half masa raya..


tangkap gambor dulu b4 departing for JB on 2nd day raya


my complete raya family photo



our first raya in ampang together was happy for me but i dono about him.. i really hope he was happy too.. i know it was quite sad for him to celebrate 1st day of raya at my side but i hope we will practice this ampang-JB raya every year! hehe

of depression and nasi beriyani

i woke up feeling happy at first.. i realised it was a monday and i just wanted to shake the "monday blues" off of me so i slid on top of my lover who's serenely sleeping and hugging me and we did the dirty so that our monday wouldnt be so bad. i thot the day was gonna be super.

but the opposite happened.

now i feel like diana's cat here - exposed and vulnerable.

i went to work as usual but the moment i stepped out of my car, i felt this sudden wave of depression envelope me like nothing i've ever felt before.. i mean, i've been depressed but never in such a drastic way.

my morning was spent at my desk, VERY quietly, reading the e-newspaper, checking some emails, and reading malaysian celebs' blogs - sazzy falak (yawn) and daphne iking's (an absolute good read! i can imagine how she is as a person and she is the kind of person whom i can be frens with if we ever had the chance to). been wanting to write on my blog since the last posting for so long but never had the inspiration to..

still felt depressed right up to lunch. then i went to the clinic to get some well-needed meds - ventolin for my asthma and some other stuff. panda's been very annoying and clingy and been sleeping on the bed more and more nowadays, so his fur is all over our sheets! and mama has this chronic disability to do any kind of housework with a willing and open heart - it always ends up bad whenever i try to sweep or dust the house, i will end up being sniffy and angry. so the only solution to this is to take more and more meds to prevent the sicknesses. sigh, me and my pills. i swear if ppl didnt know me better, they'd say i was a junkie!

had mackers for lunch (my fave beef & egg booger) and of course some coke light to quench the thirst. went back home, played with mr. emo himself for a bit and then left for office again. i started to feel a little bit better after that.

back at the office, continued reading daphne iking's blog and then had a little chat session with eric on my to-do list, went back to my place, continued reading DI's blog (omg i'm such a blogoholic).. frankly, i felt much better after talking to eric actually.. never knew he could make me feel "better" in any circumstances before.. but i guess he had his guards down today and he did tell me he felt sleepy so we had a couple of laughs to perk both of us up so we can carry on with our lives.

i only started on this post at 5pm and that's been the ONLY achievement i had at work the whole day. i'm a terrible worker. that's why i keep telling jim that he's got to get rich somehow, someway cos all i wanna do is be a tai-tai and take care of our darling mini-mes.

so now it's 5.48pm and i feel much better than this morning. glad i didnt tell jim how i felt and made him worry unnecessarily. phew! now i'm packing up to go home and attempt at making some nasi beriyani (wow how brave u are, miss halfway!) and some fried vege. we'll see how it comes out!

on a different matter, i am nowadays feeling worried for myself. i've been burning bridges all over town (not on purpose!) and losing frens like the durians dropping from the trees during season. i should know better that frens are my lifeline, they are my livelihood (apart from my better half) and they are my sanity. i dono why i am following my heart more and more these days and blabbing out things that i am now regretting.. maybe cos of my phenomenally erratic hormones (but i cant be putting blame on that solely without faulting myself for even a lil bit, right?). so now, i'm worried about my relationships with (1) A and (2) A. i dono what i did to no.1. and as for no. 2, i know what i did to him, but i dono when i should start talking to him to make it better.

note: having a big mouth will definitely get u somewhere - in the dumps in your frens' books!!