fighting fish

today is a very weepy Monday for me... but i should not be consumed by this overwhelming emotion and let it take control of my being.. i should be stronger and take charge.. and so begins my short story..

many things have happened to me since the last blog. but the one that made the biggest impression on me was the revelation that someone in my life was unhappy with me... that really hit homerun.

i never realised the things i do would affect someone so deeply, almost just as much as what that person does to me. i guess i was wrong in thinking that i am the victim and i should take this holy time of Ramadhan to repent my mistakes and correct them.

it's funny how u become oblivious to other ppl's reactions and feelings when u are totally absorbed in your own emotions, your own thoughts, your own little world.. and it's funny how u can take your best loved one for granted as easily as blinking your eyes...

i realise that explaining myself is not always the best solution to a problem.. i realise that saying sorry and understanding why i am saying it is the best solution. pride plays no role or have any importance in your life when u are dealing with matters of the heart...

i can only strive to stick to what i'm writing now, but i want to look deeper in my soul and see the world from other ppl's eyes.. i would like to start being selfless in any way i can.. i would also like to start making time for others and make them happy with my mere presence, especially my family.. it's amazing how families love u just as much as u were still a child..

but that's not my point in this post. my point is that i should get out of this victim syndrome disease i'm in and start living a normal life, one that will not hurt this person i love most in my life anymore..

so little fighting fish, please leave me and let me be.. because i cannot imagine my life without him...