so sick - physically and mentally

i've been sick. sick as a pup. all that writing in previous entries were done out of finding smthg to make me feel better. but it hasn't worked.

i'm sick yet again today. last night went to the doctor's and got loads of meds. i'm a legal junkie =)

so anyhoo, while waiting for my turn we read The Sunday Star.. on the second page was this huge article titled: "meet the millionaire sisters". and one of the sisters was my schoolmate in ssp. the photo was of her and her sister flanking their bad-ass cars - a beamer and a nissan fairlady..

i was thinking to myself, shit, i almost got into unit trust.. why couldn't i have just went thru with it? cos u know why? i can't sell shit to save my life.

how do u go up to total strangers to sell smthg, to convince them to part with their money? and i'm not just talking about asking them to give u rm10 or so, i'm talking about thousands. and i don't know how to take the rejection later on.. i'd just be angry i think and throw things at their faces hehe maybe i should go to a sales seminar or course.

well, the outcome of that article we read was that jim confessed to me that he is also getting tired of this 9-5 jobs.. he wants to do smthg like open up a business or whatever but we'll have to wait until i finish paying off my debts in 14 months time. (only then will i be debt-free woohoo!!)

he's starting to feel the weariness i feel whenever i think about getting up in the morning to go to a dead-end job. we are just sick of getting ridiculous orders from our stupid bosses to do stuff that we think are not in our job scopes like we're some kind of morons. and the shoutings and the rushings from them are just not helping..

i want to change careers, like i said in a previous entry, i want to be an english lecturer.. but i didn't enroll into the masters in english course like i planned due to certain things that came up.. maybe i'll do it for sure after i'm debt-free..

the other option is to migrate. but that's a more difficult choice to make - the money to collect, the family to leave behind, etc...

so that's why i said, i'm not just physically sick, it's also affected me mentally. when my body's not functioning well, i tend to think all sorts of reasons why i'm sick.. today, my excuse is: i'm sick from my job and my country.