aku dah gemuk

i can't seem to shed even as little as 2kg.. i used to be 48kg, now i'm a whopping 53! this is what birth control pills can do to u - they make u effing fat! i swear i don't wanna look like this girl.

i hate to exercise although the day is lovely for a walk outside.. it hasn't rained today so the weather is perfect at 4 o'clock in the afternoon - neither sunny nor gloomy. the sky is bright blue and there's a gentle breeze blowing.. i know panda would love me to walk him, but i think gypsie's not ready for that.

my current lifestyle, or more precisely, routine is:

at home - wake up, take a shower, get ready for work, drive to work.

at work - have breakfast, do some work (if any), have lunch, do some more work (if any again), get ready to pack up and leave, go home.

at home -

option a: watch some telly, play with cats, wait for jim to come home for dinner, eat dinner, take a shower, pray, play with cats again, get ready for sleep, sleep.

option b: cook dinner, have dinner with jim, wash up, take a shower, pray, play with cats, get ready for sleep, sleep.

for both options - if i'm in the mood, before sleep there'll be some horizontal action lah.

I'M EFFING BORED WITH MY LIFE!

i don't go out with my frens as much as i used to. i still want to, but it seems that my frens also have their own lives to lead, so time for socialising with each other is few.

i've started to get quite sickly these couple of weeks. my body works in such a way that it needs a vacation every 3 months.. now i'm way past due, the last holiday we had was to manila, and that wasn't much of a vacation when u go with your inlaws. i really need my holidays to keep me motivated - to get up in the mornings, to get to work, to get a life. otherwise, there's nothing to look forward to.

it's supposed to be thanksgiving today, so i'm collecting things to be thankful for:

next weekend, we're going for a family weekend escape to PD, this time it's MY family. i can't wait for that. i can't wait to see how i feel having an other half with me on a family holiday. back then, u'd feel like a part of u is missing while u're with your family somewhere cos your boyfriend is not with u.. well now, your boyfriend has become your family, so the feeling should be great to not miss anything.

end of the year over hari raya haji, we're going to langkawi again and stay at the little motel where he proposed to me on the sand. reminiscing time =)

and on our anniversary in march, we're going to phuket with kakcik and amin - YAYYYYYY!!!

so what i want to do now is to lose some weight to look good in my swimsuit, but it's just not working. age is really taking vengeance on me man... dulu nak kurus senang saja, i just don't eat for 2 days and i'd lose like 2kg of water.. now, i think the water has become frozen and won't leave my body i tell u. bencinya! and let's not forget the cellulite i have to battle with, it starts from the knee up ok! but it's ok, i should be thankful that i don't have breast cancer.

anyway, i want to go out more with my frens just like before... will u guys take me out?

ps: to my thin-as-stick frens, makan la birth control pills if u want to get fat. it's the best weight gainer i can suggest.